Building your self-advocacy skills is like strengthening your muscles to maintain mobility: The more strength you add with the right movements and techniques, and practice, the stronger you’ll gradually get.
Here are seven tips for developing the skills needed for confident and effective self-advocacy.
Developing self-advocacy skills starts with:
You should have a physical or digital folder of this information:
It’s also a good idea to include:
Adapt your toolkit for different situations. For example, access to:
Having this toolkit ready can help reduce the mental load and stress any time you need to self-advocate for anything.
Here’s why it’s called an “elevator pitch:” It’s an explanation about your specific situation and need that’s clear, quick and succinct — as if you were telling someone in short elevator ride between floors. Tell it in no more than two short sentences. In 30 seconds. Or less. Mastering this skill lessens that you’ll feel flustered in high-pressure situations where you’ve got to think and respond quickly.
Self-advocacy isn’t something you do once for something, and you’re done. It’s a continual thing you need to be prepared to do. It’s an assertive negotiation that’s an interactive process. It’s about having a self-confident and emphatic but collaborative, respectful dialogue to find a solution.
Sometimes it’s for a solution needed immediately. Other times it’s to achieve something in the long-term. Other times it’s to achieve an immediate or short-term goal that has long-term benefits for everyone.
Advocating for yourself can be frustrating and stressful. Especially if the response is “no” or “why?” to a request for equity or accommodation.
A key skill is knowing who the decision maker is — the person who can say “yes.”
DON’T: Get into an argument
DO: Politely ask if there’s a supervisor or an accessibility co-ordinator you can speak with
DON’T: Get into an argument (that could lead to being fired)
DO: Politely end the conversation. Then get some guidance. Depending on your specific situation, this could be from:
Your union representative
Understanding the hierarchy of an organization
SAVES: You energy
MAKES: Self-advocacy less stressful
HELPS: Prevent burn-out from self-advocacy stress
Advocacy is 50% speaking and 50% listening. There’s a difference between hearing and listening. Listen attentively to the concerns of the other party. It will help you make your argument in an assertive, positive, respectful way that gets better results than being adversarial.
One of the best ways to learn the nuances and skills of self-advocacy: learn from others who’ve been doing it successfully. Join, for example:
When you join a group, ask if there’s anyone who could mentor you. Having and learning from a mentor is one of the fastest ways to build your confidence.
